Let’s talk about something we all crave but rarely get enough of—me time. Specifically, that precious personal reading time where you can dive into a book, relax, and escape from the daily hustle. Sounds like a dream, right? Let’s make it a reality by setting boundaries for me time with our families. Here are some strategies that can help you communicate and establish those boundaries effectively.

At the start of June, I found myself overwhelmed with the endless to-do lists, complicated home repairs (we had to fumigate our home for termites!), my son’s birthday, and managing regular household chores. One evening, after a particularly chaotic day, I realized I hadn’t had a moment to myself in a while. My current book sat untouched on my nightstand.

I decided something had to give. I talked about it with my husband, who is incredibly supportive! We came up with a plan: I will wake up early each morning to spend some time reading. When my son wakes up, which is always early, my husband will help him get his breakfast and get ready for the day so I can have a little more time.

Those 30 minutes have become my sanctuary. With a hot cup of tea and a good book, I felt myself calmly and confidently prepare for the day ahead. My family noticed the difference too—I was less stressed and more patient. This simple act of setting boundaries for me time made a world of difference for all of us.

Why Me Time Matters

Before diving into the how, let’s quickly touch on the why. Me time isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity. It allows you to recharge, reduces stress, and brings joy and relaxation into your life. When you make time for yourself, you’re better equipped to handle the demands of parenting and everything else that comes your way.

Also, spending some of your me time in a good book is scientifically proven to make you a better person. A study from the University of Sussex that was conducted in 2009 shows that reading is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. To further support this idea, an article on Self Development Secrets states:

• Reading for six minutes a day reduces stress by 68 percent.
• Regular readers show lower rates of depression compared to non-readers.
• Reading is 300 percent more effective at reducing stress than going for a walk.

Strategies for Setting Boundaries for Me Time

1. Communicate Clearly and Kindly

The first step is to communicate your need for personal reading time clearly and kindly. Sit down with your family and explain why this time is important for you. Let them know that having some uninterrupted reading time will make you a happier, more patient, and more present mom.

Example Script: “I’ve been feeling really stressed lately, and I think some quiet reading time each day would help me relax and recharge. I’d love your support in making this happen. Can we figure out a time that works for everyone?”

2. Schedule Your Reading Time

Just like any other important activity, schedule your reading time. Put it on the calendar. Whether it’s 30 minutes in the morning before everyone wakes up or an hour after the kids go to bed, put it on the calendar. Treat it as non-negotiable as a doctor’s appointment.

3. Create a Physical Boundary

Find a specific spot in your home that is your designated reading area. It could be a cozy corner with a comfy chair and good lighting. Let your family know that when you’re in this space, you’re in your reading zone and shouldn’t be disturbed unless it’s an emergency.

4. Use Visual Cues

Visual cues can be very effective. Use a sign or a signal to let your family know you’re in reading mode. It could be as simple as wearing a specific pair of reading glasses or a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. For me, it’s when I have my reading light turned on.

5. Set Expectations and Stick to Them

Consistency is key when setting boundaries for me time. Set clear expectations with your family about your reading time and stick to them. If you’ve agreed on 30 minutes of uninterrupted time, make sure everyone respects that, and don’t let yourself be pulled away unless absolutely necessary.

6. Involve Your Kids

If your children are old enough, involve them in your reading time. Have them pick out their own books and read alongside you. This not only gives you some peace but also encourages them to develop their own love for reading.

7. Model the Behavior

Show your family that you value your reading time by making it a priority. When they see you consistently setting aside time for yourself, they’ll understand its importance and be more likely to respect it. They will also be more likely to adopt the habit themselves.

8. Be Flexible but Firm

Life happens, and sometimes plans change. Be flexible if necessary but firm about rescheduling your reading time. If something interrupts your planned time, make sure to carve out another slot for yourself later.

How Do I Explain the Importance of Me Time to My Family?

Be honest and clear about why you need me time. Explain that having personal time to relax and recharge will make you a happier and more patient family member. Use “I” statements to express your needs without making others feel blamed or guilty. For example, “I need some quiet time each day to recharge and feel my best.”

• Acknowledge their perspective: “I know that we’re all busy and sometimes it feels like there’s not enough time for everything.”
• Express your need: “I need some quiet time to myself each day to recharge and relax.”
• Explain the benefit: “When I have this time, I feel much happier and more patient, which is good for all of us.”

What If My Family Doesn’t Respect My Boundaries?

Consistency and communication are key. Reiterate the importance of your me time and set clear, firm boundaries. If necessary, involve them in finding solutions that work for everyone. Sometimes it helps to show how respecting your me time benefits the entire family.

Sometimes, and this is true for me right now, I have to actually get out of the house to get away from the noise and the energy. I go to a coffee shop one day each week when my husband finishes work. If I stay home, my kids (currently 1 and 4) know where to find me and they have a hard time staying away!

The Literary Moms’ Book Club

Joining The Literary Moms’ Book Club is a fantastic way to find accountability, community, and great book recommendations. We’re a vibrant community of women dedicated to establishing guilt-free me time routines while nurturing a passion for reading in our children. By connecting with like-minded moms, you’ll receive support and motivation to prioritize your personal reading time. Together, we’ll share tips, discuss our favorite books, and inspire each other to create a balanced life that celebrates both self-care and family bonding through the joy of reading.

How Can I Find Time for Myself When I Have a Busy Schedule?

Start by identifying small pockets of time throughout your day. It might be 15-30 minutes before everyone wakes up or after the kids go to bed. Schedule this time just like any other important appointment. Prioritize it and communicate with your family to ensure they respect this time.

How Can I Create a Physical Space for Me Time at Home?

Designate a specific area in your home as your personal space for me time. It could be a corner of a room, a cozy chair, or even a spot in the backyard. Make it comfortable and appealing, and let your family know that when you’re in this space, you should not be disturbed unless it’s an emergency.

If you’re looking for other ideas to create a reading corner, these 8 Must-Have Reading Nook Design Ideas will be a helpful place to start.

You’ve Got This

Setting boundaries for me time, especially for personal reading, is crucial for your well-being. Once you begin to establish this habit into your routine, you’ll notice a significant difference and you’ll crave those times when you miss out on it. It might take some time for everyone to adjust, but with clear communication and consistent practice, you’ll be able to carve out that precious reading time. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s essential for being the best mom you can be.