Reading with your kids is about so much more than just storytime. Yes, it’s cozy and fun, but it’s also one of the best ways to have meaningful discussions with kids. Books have this amazing way of opening the door to tough topics like empathy, grief, and what it means to be a good friend.
How Books Help Us Have Better Conversations with Our Kids: In this post, I’m sharing how stories can lead to meaningful chats with your kids, why that matters, and a few simple ways to get started (even if you’re not sure where to begin).
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The Magic of a Good Story
Stories have always been a powerful way for humans to connect. Think about it—when you read a book with your child, you’re not just reading words on a page. You’re stepping into someone else’s world together. That shared experience builds connection and creates space for important conversations, sometimes without either of you even realizing it.
Seeing Emotions Through Someone Else’s Eyes
One of the beautiful things about reading is how it helps kids understand emotions without putting them on the spot.
When a character in a story is sad, confused, or frustrated, kids often feel more comfortable talking about the characters reactions. And, sometimes, they want to talk about their feelings too. It’s not as scary to talk about grief when you’re talking about a fox who lost his mom or a little girl who moved away from her best friend.
They’re not being asked, “How do you feel?” They’re just talking about a character. But often, that’s exactly what opens the door to more personal conversations.
Research backs this up: According to NAEYC kids who are regularly read to have a better grasp of their emotions, and stronger emotional intelligence. They’re also more likely to be empathetic with others.
Making Connections to Personal Experiences
Once a story has been read, parents can ask questions that tie the themes of the story to real-life scenarios. For instance, discussing a book about loss can lead to a conversation about a pet that passed away or a family member. This connection between fiction and reality can make it easier for kids to open up and share their feelings.
Consider asking open-ended questions like:
- How do you think the character felt when that happened?
- What would you do if you were in that situation?
- How do you think you would feel?
- Has anything like that happened to you before?
These sorts of inquiries make it easier for kids to reflect, rather than feeling put on the spot to discuss their own experiences directly. As parents, creating this bridge can pave the way for more meaningful discussions with kids in the future.
Encouraging Empathy through Diverse Narratives
Reading stories from diverse cultural backgrounds or ones that tackle social issues allows kid to step into someone else’s story, even just for a few pages. They are introduced to people who live, believe, and look differently than they do and it helps kids understand the world in a bigger, more compassionate way.
Fun fact: I recently read Sarah Mackenzie’s book The Read-Aloud Family and she beautifully explains, “Stories, it turns out, are incredible empathy builders. The process of entering into a life different from our own compels us to see the world form another point of view.” She goes on to share research from Keith Oatley, a cognitive psychologist at the University of Toronto. He completed a study showing that reading fictional stories increases the empathetic response to people in their real life.
What Kind of Books Spark These Conversations?
Choosing books that resonate with your family situations or current events can lead to spontaneous conversations. Here are some categories to consider:
- Books about Loss: Titles like The Rough Patch by Brian Lies or A Walk in the Woods by Nikki Grimes show children that love lasts beyond physical presence.
- Stories about Divorce: Books such as Everything Changes by Clare Helen Welsh open discussions on what kids can expect after a divorce.
- Overcoming Challenges: What Do You Do with a Problem? by Kobi Yamada can encourage kids to face their fears and challenges head-on.
Need help finding the right books for your family? I can help! Just fill out my recommendation request form and I’ll send you a list of great picks based on your child’s age and interests.
Tips for Effective Discussions After Reading
- Follow their Lead: Give kids space to express their thoughts and feelings naturally based on their understanding of the book. Sometimes, the most profound insights come from their personal reflections rather than leading them to your conclusion.
- Be Available, Not Pushy: Let your kids know that you’re open to talking and it’s safe to discuss whatever they’re feeling about a book. If they feel unsure, let them steer the conversation, using their questions as a guide.
- Share Your Experiences: You don’t have to give a life story, but sometimes saying “I remember feeling like that when I was a kid” can make them feel safe to open up.
- Allow Silence: Sometimes, silence provides the best space for thoughts to develop. Let your children ruminate their ideas before jumping in to fill the gaps.
Let’s Make Room Meaningful Discussions With Kids
So what now? Keep reading. Keep talking. And most of all—keep showing up.
Books have this quiet superpower. They help us understand each other better. They give kids language for feelings they don’t know how to express yet. And they remind all of us that we’re not alone.
If you’re looking to have more meaningful discussions with kids, I’d love to help. You can click below to get personalized book recs that fit your child and your current season of life.
Reading opens the door to understanding ourselves and those around us. So, grab a book and start a new adventure in discussion today!
